What is Coaching?    Professional coaching is a distinct professional relationship that focuses on guiding and empowering Human Beings to design and realize their future, rather than focusing on fixing their past.  While we may visit the past to release blocks and impediments to the achievement of the life and relationships you seek, the ultimate, larger goal and focus is always on empowering you to design and achieve your optimal thriving in your life and relationships now. Typically a long-term relationship, coaches aid clients in creating visions and goals for all aspects of their lives, and support them in creating and accomplishing multiple strategies for their accomplishment.   Coaches recognize our clients' personal brilliance and personal power to discover the answers and solutions within, when provided with support, accountability, unconditional love, and a guided, facilitated, empowering process of Self-discovery and growth.              Adapted from Therapist as Life Coach, p. xiii Patrick Williams & Debra C. Davis, authors.     What is Flourish Life & Relationship Coaching™? Flourish Life and Relationship Coaching™ is my specialized style, approach and model of Life and Relationship Coaching.  It is a holistic, comprehensive process of guided and facilitated growth and empowerment, visioning and goal achievement, and the rediscovery of the Real Self,  for you and your spouse, and the potential in your marriage, based on the foundational truth that every human being has the innate ability and purpose to grow and expand in relationships, and in all areas of common human life experience, because of our inherent divine heritage and potential as children of God.  Flourish Coaching™ recognizes and includes in our coaching process, the wholeness of each person and your relationships.  Distinct from psychotherapy and other coaching approaches, Flourish Coaching™ recognizes and addresses your life and relationships as having 5 Levels to your Being, including:   Spiritual ~ The source of your innate power, ability and potential for growth, and your deepest, most essential Self.   This dimension is the source of the fundamental power from Heavenly Father through the Atonement of Christ to reach our fullest potential.   Intuitive ~  The interface of the spiritual and the emotional dimensions of your being.   Emotional ~ The "juice" that gives so much joy or pain to life and relationships, and the juice that brings our thoughts to life, whether with wanted or unwanted results.   Mental ~ Our thoughts, thinking processes and patterns, that direct our powerful creative ability, which we all have as children of God.   Physical ~  Our physical bodies, actions, and the physical dimension of life, in all areas. Flourish Coaching™ recognizes and works with all 5 of these Levels of Being to guide and facilitate the:   Release and resolution of any blocks, stuck points or impediments that keep women, men and couples in their patterns of personal or relationship struggle, and then   Create a new foundation for success and thriving, by creating a new flourishing "Set Point" in the area of focus - whether that be in your personal life, your marriage or other relationships, or any other area we are focusing your attention toward. Universal Laws ~ Governing, Creative Principles of Life Flourish Coaching™ also includes teaching and coaching in applying Universal Laws in a conscious and empowered way so that you will learn and begin to intentionally master the process of co-creating the life and marriage or other relationships you want.  As bold as it may sound, it seems to me that the pattern of the process of creation that is so clearly taught in the Book of Mormon and the Pearl of Great Price, is there in part to teach us that we have the power, ability and even responsibility to learn how to become what may be termed a Conscious Co-Creator.   The Universal Laws that are included in Flourish Coaching™ are the beginning universal principles for learning how to do so.  These Laws are found in the scriptures, and taught across cultures and through-out time.   Learning these principles and how they apply in our personal lives and relationships is so important, that I teach an entire workshop series on this topic:  Thrive! The Awakening Woman's Essential Course for Flourishing in Life and Love.  This workshop is held via telecourse as well as in person.

How is Flourish Life & Relationship Coaching™ Different than Psychotherapy? Psychotherapy ~ An Incomplete Framework There are very important distinctions and differences between coaching in general, Flourish Coaching™ in particular, and psychotherapy.  These distinctions are at the heart of why I discontinued providing psychotherapy or counseling, and have whole-heartedly embraced coaching.  While some may differ with these conclusions, I have found the most important distinctions between coaching and psychotherapy include:   Psychotherapy or counseling, no matter the particular kind or "flavor" that is provided, whether that be clinical psychology, counseling, social work, or marriage and family therapy, are generally all based on a broken-ness point of view - they see people, family relationships and the experiences we have that bring us challenges or pain, as coming from something wrong with us or our relationships.  I love my psychotherapist friends and colleagues, and lovingly think of psychotherapy in general, as the paradigm of pathology.   Psychotherapists diagnose and treat mental disorders, based on the medically-oriented "therapist bible", known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).   This is a psychiatric reference and diagnostic guide, intended to categorize and "medicalize" mental and emotional problems into a medically-oriented framework.     Psychotherapy predominantly recognizes and addresses "problems" in a person's thinking, and behavior only.  Solution-oriented "cognitive-behavioral" therapy are the predominant schools of thought and approaches to psychotherapy today.  Relationship therapists also acknowledge and include the relational level, as a distinct dimension.  Psychotherapy does not include all 5 Levels of Being, which are innately a part of every human.  Specifically, psychotherapy does not address the Spiritual level, the Intuitive level, not much is actually done directly with the Emotional level outside of medication, and trying to guide a client to change their thoughts, without addressing the underlying, often unknown reasons behind the emotions and thoughts, and in general, often tends to consider behaviors as a cause not the effect they are. (You can learn more about the caveats and concerns of medicalized psychotherapy, here.)   Having practiced as a psychotherapist for many years in the past, I came to conclude that though well-meaning, psychotherapy in general, is an incomplete, outside-in approach to change, that pathologizes and in significant ways, tends to dehumanize Human Beings.  It wasn't always the case, but in general, it is now.    Having practiced as a psychotherapist for several years in the past, I came to conclude that though well-meaning, psychotherapy in general, is an incomplete, outside-in approach to change, that pathologizes and in significant ways, dehumanizes Human Beings.  It wasn't always the case, but in general, it is now.      Contemporary psychotherapy does not generally include the wholeness of the person or their living relationships, including the 5 Levels of Being.  It imposes a false, limiting medicalized framework, that is incomplete at best, and can be harmful at worst.  The most concerning to me is that due to the limitations of psychotherapy, people's deeper needs and potential, and reasons for seeking help, are often unrecognized and unmet.    Does Psychotherapy Have It's Place?   Surprisingly, I believe that it does.  It can be a stepping-stone in the journey of growth that life on this Earth entails.  Not everyone is ready for Flourish Life and Relationship Coaching™ for various reasons, and may need or choose something else as an intermediate step.  Psychotherapy can be helpful for people, at certain stages in their lives and relationships, and people can and do benefit to a certain degree. This is generally the case when the issues that the person desires to change are rooted at the thinking or behavioral level only.     The BIG limitation however, is that in my experience, very few needs and concerns that people have at this time in which we live, are anchored at these two levels.  The hidden causes and invisible roots that keep people stuck in their patterns of pain and out of the full thriving and flourishing they seek, are most usually anchored in the Emotional Level or above.     I am grateful for the marriage and family relationship therapy skills, wisdom, and insights that I learned, and draw upon now in Flourish Life and Relationship Coaching.  I am especially grateful that I was able to help many, many people during the years that I provided professional marriage and family relationship psychotherapy services.  It was a stepping stone in my own professional journey that blessed my life and that of thousands of others.       Psychotherapy - A Point of Contrast Perhaps most fundamentally, contemporary psychotherapy provides a point of contrast - and therefore a choice - between an earthly, limited and imperfect view of life and growth for Human Beings, and one that is striving for a Heavenly model.   If you choose psychotherapy, know what you are choosing.  I encourage you to know the limitations, and the concerns, that are derived from these distinctions.     I found through the years that I practiced as a psychotherapist, that increasingly the needs and goals my clients had, called for more than psychotherapy could provide.  This is part of the reasons that I was led by the Lord into the fields of life and relationship coaching and Energy Psychology - and the genesis of the development of Flourish Life and Relationship Coaching™.

Flourish Coaching™ ~ Recognizing and Honoring Your Innate Wholeness and Infinite Potential It is fairly easy to discern the distinctions between psychotherapy and Flourish Coaching™.  Most basically, Flourish Life and Relationship Coaching™ is based on the fundamental premise that as children of God, every Human Being has the potential for infinite growth, change and expansion.  In Flourish Coaching™, we see individual and relationship pain and challenges as indicators of areas of growth, not brokenness or pathology, and we view the individuals experiencing those challenges as more than their experiences - we view all individuals as Human Beings with divine origin and infinite potential, whose life experiences do not define their identity - their True Self.   We see challenging life and relationship experiences most usually occurring from a higher vantage point for one or more of three reasons:  For the individual's or couple's learning and soul growth  For the working out,releasing and healing of generational patterns  For service to others, whether in this life or to generations past or future. In Flourish Life and Relationship Coaching™, we do not diagnose or treat mental disorders, nor do we reduce the richness of the living, holistic human experience to a Newtonian medicalized clockwork of disparate parts that need to be "fixed"  because they are broken, in isolation from the whole Human Being.    Flourish Coaching™ is holistic, and recognizes and incorporates all 5 Levels of Being in a guided process of Self-discovery and individual and couple empowerment.   This is a spiritually grounded approach, including teaching and facilitating intentional use and mastery of the Universal Laws of Life, which are included in the basis of the spiritual creation process, illustrated in the Scriptures.  We draw upon general coaching principles and practices, in this holistic, spiritually-grounded context, including honoring the client's inner knowing and timing, and practices to promote motivation, inner authority, spiritual self-sufficiency, self-empowerment, and accountability for the client's life, relationships and the results they achieve.     Flourish Life and Relationship Coaching™ is fundamentally a holistic, spiritually facilitated and empowered process, which draws upon my gifts of intuition and healing, along with the positive insights, wisdom and expertise I gained from the years I practiced as a relationship psychotherapist, to guide and empower you in creating the happy and flourishing life and marriage or other relationships of your dreams - in the real world.

The Center for Great Marriages

Unveiling the Secrets to Creating Daily Happiness ,

& Eternal Love in Your Temple Marriage
 

 
 Copyright © 2011.  All Rights Reserved.   Debra Brown Gordy, MS MRET.

The Center for Great Marriages & Relationship Healing and this website features Debra's one-of-a-kind, independent professional life and relationship coaching services for LDS women and couples. 

We are not officially affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
(LDS, or Mormon Church).    

No part of this website may be copied by any means
without the owner's express, written consent.